I am 73 and never in my life did I have the audacity to be myself. Sometimes in the middle of night I feel like I am suffocating and think that this is all for me…I have wasted my life essentially lived as per what society suggested. I have no one to blame and I feel sad’ lamented Alice when asked what regret does she feel after becoming older!
‘If you don’t touch it, it won’t harm you’
may not be a very well-known saying but it certainly is a lifestyle that many of us are living with and might be the very reason to why we do not talk about death…Wait!! Don’t skip this page let us all face this reality for once because obviously death is simply passing away where every part of the body becomes deceased but there is another type of death where the body is active but the heart and minds become dead, I would call it loneliness.
Believe it or not; loneliness is one of the most unspoken issues among the African communities especially in Africa and across the Globe because many people refer to it as an indication of strength while considering it a régime to mask their troubles. Unfortunately there is a significant figures of the victims who are secretly suffering from unimaginable number of pains and are willing to spend millions of pennies on several culprits to protect their suffering. Today, this magazine will discourse about this common culprit for adults’ pain which has left incurable effects to the societies.
What is the pain?
Unquestionably; in a world full of vast devices to keep the minds busy from worrying about our prescribed lifespan; both youngsters, adults, wives, strangers, patients, doctors and every normal human being all share a common fear of loneliness. Loneliness is the state of feeling emptiness inside someone’s mind, soul, body or heart, (regardless how much a person may be owning); where as the results, it leads to an individual’s unwise decisions which may also yields to unhealthy preoccupations such as an obsession of the body image.
The 90% of those whose focus has been invested on image obsession has either performed plastic surgeries or at least considered anti-aging prescriptions because they thought the problem is more physical than mental. On many exclusive researches conducted to find out why themajority of adults spend quite mercilessly on anti-aging products, it was finally discovered that the main cause to the act is the fear of beingempty, lonely and eventually becoming invisible to their loved ones and society in general.
At least every year the World spends about $ 274 billion on the anti-aging products while the media has tirelessly encouraged all ages on how important it is for them to look younger on a daily basis. Although on the outside the entire anti-aging campaign may look like it is about the beauty but it seems to be a completely different agenda on the inside because when a group of adults asked why are they scared to look or get older; the top answers were all pressed back to the fear of pain, poverty, becoming vulnerable and abused. Who will take care of me? What will happen when I get ill? The fear of getting treated with humiliations in the hands of those who may not even be related to them and the costs that may be used for instance in the West to take care of elders; altogether spice up this pain. The good news is there is still hope for a better change as far as people are willing to share and learn.
What is Tanzanians’ acuity on the matter?
On the other hand; the courage of whether or not to communicate and implement about this pain seems to differ and have taken a unalike approach at least for the participants of this survey whom I believe are representatives to the majority of the country because many of them felt uncomfortable to address this. Some of them seem to have believed that loneliness is a part of faith hence no one should rise a concern about it, while others are uncertain if this is a problem or not.
Apparently when both youths and adults of 21-75 years old interviewed, they admitted to have experienced on the feeling and urge that it is unavoidable circumstance unless one chooses to live a useful life.
‘I celebrated a lovely 25 years’ old birthday last week with family and friends and felt so happy but I assure you on the inside I was somehow worried on becoming older because I can relate how different this birthday celebration is from a 19 years old one. The people’s engagement, the mindset, the dependence…all these were seem to be freely accessible but the more I aged; the desperate I become’’. Said Sylvia a fourth year Medical Student at Muhimbili, adding that her hard work has been a motive to worry less.
There has been an incredible rise of beauty shops in Dar es Salaam region alone which is the business city where 7 of 10 people you meet have somehow tried to mask their loneliness through the beauty concept.
By Khadija Amri
The Tanzanian Times 