Amina is in her second year of high school. Every day when she gets home after school, she has to cook for her siblings, clean and tidy up before she can rest and go about doing her homework and studying. She has an older sister who does her best to pick up some of the home’s duties but most of the time she is out working and attending college classes. Amina’s father is alone in their native country while Amina, her mother and her siblings have settled in a quiet peaceful town in Colorado. Amina’s parents are on the brink of a divorce. It seems the geographical distance between them has taken its toll on what was an already shaky relationship foundation. Poor communication, glaring personality differences and increasing financial stresses have become the last straw. So they are of no use when it comes to placating the violence that routinely takes place when her oldest brother wants to have his way and assert himself in the home. Not even Amina’s mother and other siblings can pacify him when he flies into his fits of rage. Instead of enforcing her authority as the guardian in the home, Amina’s mother devolves into a puddle of tears and self-pity leaving Amina and her siblings to fend for themselves in such times. Amina’s oldest sister who often bears the brunt of the abuse, refuses to press charges citing that it would be an additional financial burden on the family to engage in legal proceedings and that their brother would “suffer as a black man in the system”. There is a Tanzanian saying that witchcraft does not cross continents but apparently, domestic violence does.
Monica, her husband and two young children are standing outside their apartment, giving one of many statements to a police officer in the early hours of a frigid winter morning. A neighbor has summoned the authorities following loud arguing and commotion that have woken her up in the middle of the night. Monica’s husband has come home drunk again, and upon being questioned over his whereabouts along with the alcohol on his breath, he has become belligerent, insulting his wife and making such a racket that he has awoken his children. The little ones are frightened but unable to go back to sleep knowing that when their father is in such a state, their mother usually ends up with bruises and broken bones. They hide behind her, not knowing how long this terrifying episode will last until they hear a firm authoritative knock on the door stating “Police, we’re coming in”. Brian, Monica’s husband is agitated by this self-assured young man in a uniform who keeps telling him to calm down or he will have to be cuffed and booked for the night. This is not the first domestic dispute the officer has responded to but he can tell from his records that this is not Brian’s first offence. Monica has repeatedly filed and dropped assault charges on Brian but cannot bring herself to raise two children as a single parent. This seems to be the least of Brian’s concerns as he has boldly declared that they are in fact “not his problem”. Almost all of the women in Monica’s family have endured horrific abuse at the hands of spouses and significant others. But for the first time in her life she is beginning to contemplate the possibility of living a life free of suffering in the name of love, duty and honor.
Mama Katy is what the people in her adopted Kenyan community have fondly come to refer to Christine as. Second daughter to pastors of a conservative church in the heart of the bible belt, Christine fell in love with Karia on her very first mission trip to Kenya. Charmed by his friendly demeanor and a macho go getter attitude, Christine helped Karia file a fiancée visa so the pair could leave together for the U.S. as soon as her mission trip ended. Shocked by the sudden engagement, Christine’s parents obliged, believing that prayer and their efforts in raising their child in a biblically upright manner would inform their daughter’s decision. Christine is now pregnant with the couple’s second child. She has noticed that Karia has been getting increasingly “impatient” with their toddler Katy, to the point of spanking, pushing and yelling at her whenever she engages in typical toddler behavior. When she addresses this issue with him, he warns her not to interfere with his “parenting” because this is how Africans do it where he is from. He accuses her of being too soft and that he is not interested in raising spoiled children with disrespectful western attitudes. He has also been raising his voice and engaging in intimidating behavior that leads her to believe he is capable of physically harming her. Mama Katy has been reluctant to address the issue with her church, friends or family. She is afraid she might aggravate culturally sensitive issues or defame her well-meaning husband. She is also afraid of the stigma that separations and divorces carry in conservative Christian circles. She fears how seemingly failing at marriage would permanently ruin her parents’ reputation in their church. One thing she is sure of is that she has to find a solution before this new baby arrives.
Written by Naomi Kessy
The Tanzanian Times 